Emotionally driven...

A lot of people at WW talk about how much they dislike the show 'The Biggest Loser'. They claim that it is weight lost unhealthily, and that it is giving people the wrong idea about weight loss. I disagree wholeheartedly. They are training like athletes. If I was in the gym for 5 hours a day, on a ranch where I wasn't surrounded by work and stress and life-crap, where the food around me was healthy all the time... I, too, could lose 6-8 pounds a week. I think these people are inspiring. They are changing their lives. What I love most about the show is that they spend a fair amount of time figuring out where it all started. I mean, you are a foodie or you're not. There is very little in the way of gray area. But figuring out where it went from enjoying a meal to scarfing down scary amounts of food, is key to any weight loss journey.

Over the last week, where stress has been ruling my life, I have been trying to do just that. Figure it out. I have always been an emotional eater. Happy? I eat. Sad? I eat. Angry? Frustrated? Elated? Eat, eat, eat. Stress is a bad one, because I stop thinking about what is going in my body. I eat to fill holes in my life. I know this about myself. My years at WW have brought me to this conclusion. But where did it all start? I haven't figured that out yet. I want to say that it started when I was living in New York. I felt so out of control in New York, I wasn't singing, I was working too much, I was lonely. Food is what I could control. And I controlled a lot of food. I didn't even see myself get big until I was huge. It was a 'can you see me now?' thing.

This past week, I ate a lot of stress.

I have had phone calls over the last week in response to my last blog posting from friends who were worried about me. Please don't be worried. I am okay. I am dealing with the stress. I know that next week, I am going to be fine. And surprisingly enough, although I WAS up at the scale, it was only by a half-pound. Which is nothing.

Thank you all for your concern and friendship. It means a lot to me to know that I have that support out there.

In other news, the first rehearsal with all the boys was AWESOME!! What a hysterical, ridiculously talented group of men. I was humbled being in that room with all of them. Tonight, we put the show on it's feet, and I am so excited to get to rehearsal!!!

Stay tuned!

Not a whole lot...

Hey there!

So, last night, my friend Dana was at the pub that I work at, and she says to me: "Hey, I think you should go home and blog". Funny. So, here I am blogging. Happy, Dana?!!!

I don't have anything to really talk about, I've not been feeling like myself this last week. I am a little stressed out, and trying really hard not to eat my stress. Which is becoming a daily task. One day at a time.

I have had a couple rehearsals with Aaron, and the songs are really great. I meet all the boys tomorrow, and am really looking forward to it.

I didn't weigh in this week, mostly because I was holed up in my apartment with my music and script and working on memorizing both. The show goes up in a week and a half... eep.

And there is this other thing going on. I can't talk about it much, as I don't know who reads this and who doesn't, but it is the source of most of my stress. I am trying hard to focus on breathing.

So, that is about it... I will have more stories once I meet the boys, and have our first real rehearsal!

Another week...

Again, this is a short one, as I am in between shifts, and with so much blogging this week, I don't really have much to tell you all...
EXCEPT: I am down another pound!!! Woot Woot.
This brings me to 172.4 lbs.

Very exciting stuff!

The Wedding...

Hello friends!!!

Okay, last night was Tammy's wedding, and I promised to come online and blog about it, so here I am! It was spectacular. It was quite intimate, maybe 50 people, at a restaurant down in the distillery district called 'Archeo'. Exposed brick, and wooden beams, candlelight behind the bar area, which is where they did the ceremony. She was positively glowing. Here:

The ceremony itself was very unique. Instead of the officiant doing the 'Do you, Tammy, take Jamie to be blah blah blah...', they had their friends ask questions. Jamie's college buddy asked Tammy if she would take Jamie even though he makes her watch the Star Wars movies all the way to the end... etc. It was a ceremony filled with tons of laughter, which is very Tammy. You could just feel all the outpouring of love in the room!

Her 'something blue' were her shoes!!!

The centerpieces were little photo trees, and the photos adorning it were ones taken from ages ago. There was a quiz, which I apparently scored very badly on!!!

And the little take-aways were little bags with cute little movie ticket stubs on them:

Inside are some of the best chocolate chip cookies I have ever had, made by the lovely miss Tammy herself. Talent, I tell ya. On top of all of that, there were people that I hadn't seen in a decade. High school friends, and old friends from college. It was so nice to re-connect with them and catch up. And of course, there was dancing. So much dancing. Air guitar even.

What a fabulous night. Tammy, I wish you a loving future filled with a lifetime of laughing. xoxo.

What the...

Hello friends!

This is about to get exciting, so grab a cup of tea (or reasonable substitute), and read on...

Is everyone aware of the brilliance of 'Evil Dead: the Musical'?!! If not, go here and check it out, before continuing on. So, my friend Aaron (2Divine's musical director), who was the musical director of 'Evil Dead', approached me this week and asked me if I would be interested in auditioning for a role in a workshop of a new musical that the guys who did 'Evil Dead' are doing. Called 'Cannibal: The Musical', it was written by Trey Parker a million years ago, and Aaron and his boys have written some more songs and revamped the script, and are workshopping it in the hopes of getting financial backing so they can mount it. AND I GOT IT!!! I am so excited, I could scream. In fact, I did scream, a lot. It is going to be a lot of work in the next month, as the workshop is the end of November, but I am 150% committed. Very very exciting.

Also, I am an idiot.

Here is how the last few days have gone:
Thursday, I worked from 11am until 10:30pm. Friday, I got up early, went to Aaron's place for the audition at 9:30am, then worked from 11:30am until 2:30am, and then got up to work brunch yesterday from 9:30am until 4:30pm. I got up yesterday morning, before my brunch shift, with about 4 hours of sleep, and decided that it would be a good idea to grab my little mini-electric razor and do some eyebrow shaping. I don't really know what happened, but I shaved off half of my eyebrow. Seriously?! I stood there in the bathroom, in absolute hysterics, thinking 'What is wrong with me?' I have never drawn on eyebrows before, I had no clue how to make one, but I did, and not one person yesterday was any the wiser!!!

Today is my friend Tammy's wedding. I am very excited for her and can't wait to see how lovely she looks in her beautiful gown. I have known Tammy since grade 9. Just shy of 20 years. And she is marrying an amazing man, kind and generous, and completely perfect for her. I will post pics tomorrow!

Until tomorrow, my eyebrowed friends...

Will power...

So, this is a quick one as I am on my way out the door to go to work...

2 things: I was very good this week. I upped my veggies, my water, and my exercise, I had some good will power moments, and it showed, I am down 2.6 lbs.

AND, my lovely friend Alexis has a blog: www.loveandwaterinternational.com. You should go to this blog for SO MANY REASONS, and I will let you go to find out what it is all about. She has been featuring and interviewing people who have blogs that she likes, etc, and this week she is featuring ME! Woot Woot. So, please visit her blog and have a lookie loo.

Cheerio peeps.

If at first you don't succeed...

So, I have been super busy... which is why I haven't had a second to blog, so sorry!!!

Let's see, what has been going on... well, I got sick, remember? Getting better has been a process, I am still left with a sore throat and a cough. Boo. Also, the week that I was sick led into the week after I was sick. I was finding it hard to get up and go to the gym. I was finding it hard to be inspired. I had some bad habits that resurfaced. And therefore, I am up again, scale-wise. Now, what it did this week was kick me in the ass to get re-inspired. So, after my meeting, I walked to Aaron's place for a small rehearsal that I will talk about in a sec, which is a very long walk. It took me just over an hour and a half to do, which is great. And I went grocery shopping and have been messing around with this veggie bake thing that I am a little obsessed with. I actually have one in the oven as I type this, and my apartment smells divine.

I didn't get the Leafs gig. Disappointing, really. They were very nice when they called, saying that it had nothing to do with my vocal abilities, and that they wanted to keep my info on file, but that they had decided to go a different way. I don't know what that means, but hey, what are you going to do? You win some, you lose some. I did have an audition for this show on Thursday of last week, hence the small rehearsal at Aaron's. Going over my audition choices... the audition process is not one of my favourite things in the world. It is a lot of nerves and waiting around for your chance to get into the room to sing for the big wigs and hope that your 45 second audition impresses someone enough that they want to see more of you. Gah, I hope I get a call-back. I should know this week sometime. Happy thoughts, people, happy thoughts. The best part of this particular audition was looking around and seeing everyone decked out 1980's style. Amazing. Which brings me to this past weekend...

Halloween is my fave! As I have mentioned in other posts, I have a thing for dressing up. And this year, I worked both Friday and Saturday nights. So, I had to have 2 costumes. On Friday, we were allowed to wear whatever we wanted, and I really didn't want to buy anything this year, so I sat in my room and went through my closet, and tried to decide what to be. It was a process to say the least. First, I was going to wear my friend's wedding dress and be 'Bride of Frankenstein'. Except that my friend whose dress I was going to wear, is really tall, so I would have had to wear heels, and waiting tables in heels and a wedding dress is not my idea of a good time. So, I thought, I'll stick with the wedding theme, and be 'Always a Bridesmaid'. Wear one of my bridesmaids dresses, slit my wrists, have tear stained mascara running down my cheeks, it'll be funny. And then I couldn't find the one I wanted to wear. So, then I thought "I'll be Lucille Ball". I have done it before and have all the costume accoutrements, but the wig is one that one of my male managers wore for my work Christmas party last year, so that costume was out. I thought I could go as a fairy. It is a costume I have worn many times before and it is lovely. And then I thought to myself that if working in a wedding dress was going to be a nightmare, working with wings on would be hellacious. I thought I could go all 1930's, since I have the dress from my birthday party, but it would have meant getting up at 6am to put my hair up in fingerwaves, and then work a double. Ew. At a loss, I was then literally pulling things out of my closet and throwing them around the room, when I came upon a dress I haven't seen in ages. A plain black dress with a little bolero jacket thing that matches. And a big black hat. Voila. Audrey Hepburn. Or Jackie O. Take your pick. In fact, here's a pic:

Now, Saturday night, we all had to conform to the 'theme', which was 'Gothic Formal'. I decided on starting with the Dita Von Teese look, and adding a little flair:


This is the all the girlies who worked on Saturday in all of our 'Goth-y' glory! Here is a close-up of my face, so you can see the detail:

I did it with liquid eyeliner, but it kept smudging off, so finally I had my friend Lillian (a fabulous artist) go over it, and add to it, with pen and sharpie. Which you can get rid of with rubbing alcohol. Fun.

Oh, I went out with that guy from the agency. He is lovely. Nice, and sweet, and kind. Geeky in a good way, and kinda shy. We had a great time and I am going out with him again... so we shall see!!!

So there you have it. My week in a nutshell!!!
Hope everyone had a great halloween, and didn't eat too much candy...
This weeks challenge: NOT buying sale chocolate.